Please Visit Me At My New Home!

Hi dear friends! This blog has been a special place to me for the past few years, but over time it became clear that my intentions weren't focused and it just didn't feel quite right any more. Still, my love of storytelling continues - simply with a stronger purpose. So, I've created a new blog that I am over-the-moon in love with! Please stop by and visit. I think you will feel right at home!

Please follow me at:

http://www.unfoldingpage.com

See you there!

The Bedazzled Pitbull

What do you get when you cross a dance mom with a hockey mom?

For sure something crazy, right?!

Between Sarah Palin's line about pitbulls and lipstick and the "Dance Moms" reality show, neither of my titles carry a very good rep.

And I can't say I am doing much to help the case!

I'm the one in the lobby of the dance studio - still in my high heels from work - brushing one kid's hair while changing another into sports gear, all with a cell phone pressed between ear and shoulder and a Snickers bar (my dinner) in my mouth, before flying out the door 10 minutes late for another event, frantically digging in my purse to find my keys which are probably sitting back on the bench on other side of the studio where I first set them down with my five bags 20 minutes before. And, shoot, I forgot to pay and now there's a line at the desk...

A jumbled run-on? Yes, I know. With a competitive dancer and two hockey players as my kids, that is my reality.

But do you know the really crazy part? I love it! Believe it or not, I - the one who wears only a brush of mascara and owns not a single piece of sparkly attire - have grown quite fond of applying stage makeup, fake hair and rhinestones. And I - the one who hates the cold - now have a wardrobe of fleece blankets and cute hats for the arena. I'm even learning to tie the skates! (Yes, this is a big deal for me!)

Not to say it doesn't take a toll. I certainly do cross the line to seriously crazy sometimes. We have very little down time. And I wish my primary mode of communication with my husband wasn't mobile technology. But it's all so worth it.

I am fed by my kids' energy and feel blessed that they have healthy little bodies that enable them to participate. And I am proud. Incredibly proud. I even wear the oversized buttons with their pictures to prove it.

Just cut me a little slack if you see me at the ice rink in a bedazzled "Dance Mom" shirt. I probably just didn't have time to change.

Much More Than Word Play

The power of the written word is richly evident in the blogs I follow. I am continually amazed how each author's distinctly chosen words allow thoughts and emotions to be expressed so clearly. I often feel deeply connected to authors I have never met or that I am finally really getting to know an old friend.

Every once in a while my attention gets pulled away from the blog world, but I always get drawn back in.

During November my husband's identical twin brother was diagnosed with a malignant brain tumor. My sister-in-law Anne, who is generally a quiet and private person, began a blog to keep family and friends appraised of his condition and treatment. What I expected was status updates. What she delivered was a deep look into her beautiful soul. Rather than providing quick reports, she is allowing us to experience this journey with her. Her honest and inspiring posts have been revealing to the core and I admire her more than ever.

Another favorite example that I have mentioned before is Liv Lane's blog. I knew Liv as a child, but it has been at least 20 years since I last saw her in person. Yet, through her blog I feel like she is welcoming me into her home. Liv's positive spin on life and thoughtful commentary always leave me with a cozy feeling.

Just as the written word helps me feel more connected to others, I find it also helps me feel better connected with myself. When I stay away from my writing too long I feel like something is missing.

Writing is mindfulness for me.

With that realization, I've decided to make my writing more of a priority with greater intention behind it. And who better to turn to for inspiration than Liv Lane! I just started Liv's online course, Build A Blog You Truly Love, and what a treat it is to be devoting energy to this! I am looking forward to six weeks of digging deep and building connections through words. Here I go...

At Home With Grandma

As I've grown older holidays have taken on new meaning for me. As much as a time for celebration, they now stand out as bold milestones marking yet another year passed. On Mother's Day this year I was especially struck by that feeling.

So much has happened in the past year. Was it only 12 months ago that my family sat doing needle point together in my Grandma's garden? Now her home of over 50 years sits vacant waiting to be sold. Half of her cherished possessions are still inside because there isn't room for everything in her apartment at the memory care center where she has lived since March.

Sudden-onset dementia forced itself into our lives this winter. Fortunately, my Grandma has the type that comes and goes, so although sometimes she doesn't know where she is or who we are, other days we still get the gift of her full presence. (I love those days.)

I'm glad she was completely with us the day we moved her, even though that day has left a permanent scar on my heart. My mom had been explaining the plan to her for weeks, but nothing could prepare her. None of us were prepared.

It was more than Grandma could bear to see her living room with her couch moved out. She collapsed into my arms and sobbed. It was the first time I've seen her cry. She knew she was no longer in control. Dementia had moved in and taken over without consent.

Nothing about that day was easy. We went through the motions like robots wearing fake smiles as we introduced Grandma to her new home. We were going to make this a happy place if our lives depended on it, damn it!

The definition of home just had to change.

It hasn't been easy (of course not), but Grandma has actually adjusted quite well to her new surroundings. My wonderful mom is still there everyday, so that's why it is home, but Grandma is also enjoying some of the activities and social interaction enabled through community living.

My kids wish we could move in to the unit next door! How cool would it be to live in a place with a daily packed agenda of balloon volleyball, miniature golf, manicures, sing-a-longs, and arts and crafts?! It's just like preschool.

It really is.

On Mother's Day I saw my Grandma cry again, when she read the card from my mom. "This makes me so sad," she said. "Because I'm no good anymore."

She was fully present. But she was totally wrong. I hope we convinced her of that. No matter where she is - in mind or body - my Grandma continues to teach me more about love and life than I ever knew possible.

I love you, Grandma.

In the Presence of Greatness

"You are lucky to be in the Twin Cities," were among the closing words by writer Brain Malloy last weekend at The Loft's Children's & Young Adult Literature Conference.

There is no denying the truth of his statement after spending two days with local authors David LaRochelle, Debra Frasier, Lisa Bullard, Lynne Jonell, Molly Beth Griffin, Kurtis Scaletta, Dara Dokas, and many noteable others. I was awed and honored to be in their presence and am still feeling the afterglow.

According to Malloy, the Twin Cities is second only to New York in the number of authors, editors, and literary learning opportunities.

Let me tell you, it was quite humbling to sit in The Loft's Target Performance Hall as one of more than two hundred writers all chasing the same dream.

Can I compare to them? Am I really one of them? The answer is YES.

It's not a matter of confidence or talent, it's a matter of passion. As Lynne Jonell put it in her presentation about the challenges of seeking publication: "A writer writes, regardless."

With those words ringing in my ears and my heart, I had the courage to introduce myself to David LaRochelle - albeit completely star struck -and have the best moment of my weekend (year? life?) chatting with him while he autographed two of his books for me. What an honor!

The entire weekend was far beyond my expectations. It was inspiring to hear from powerhouse editor Arthur A. Levine that for him it's "all about love." It was invigorating to discuss motivation techniques with Lisa Bullard over lunch at Spill the Wine. And it was encouraging to get a peek at David LaRochelle's original manuscripts prior to edit (they actually needed work!).

The whole experience was rewarding in a way that my 20 plus pages of notes can hardly represent.

This community is home to me. I've found my place.

Earth Day Musings

I am thrilled to have the day off work today so I can spend Earth Day enjoying nature. It was wonderful to have some quiet time this morning snuggling with my cats, listening to the choir of birds, and admiring the emerging green in my backyard. Bliss!

It has been a long while since I have added words to this blog because my free time has been filled with another kind of writing. I have finally completed a long labor of love - a children's book manuscript about environmental appreciation and conservation. My goal was to finish it by Earth Day and I am thrilled that I met that milestone. Still, it's a long road ahead of editing and the difficult quest to find a publisher. If anyone would like to step forward as a reviewer I would be more than pleased to have as many eyes on it as possible. This is a life dream that I must accomplish!

I decided to focus my energy into a children's book because I believe that kids are natural nature lovers and if we nurture their instincts and teach them good habits we can help cultivate a green hearted generation that will eventually be the decision makers in this world. I dare to believe that our beautiful planet still stands a chance of regaining the respect it deserves and I hope my kids will be part of that movement!

Although my environmental focus has turned to educating children, I haven't completely given up on the adults! This year I became part of our Environmental Committee at work where we are making progress in establishing eco-friendly business practices and educating employees on ways they can make a difference. I started a grassroots viral campaign based of the One Small Change blog movement I took part in last year. I also organized our first "Talking Green" lunch & learn event where we are hosting speakers from Minnesota Grown to discuss the benefits of eating local and organic and the resources available for natural food. If you are interested in receiving the 30th Anniversary Edition of the Minnesota Grown Directory, you can order it for free on the website. A great listing of local farmers markets, CSA farms, garden centers, orchards and more!

So, although I decided to retire my green blog last year, my passion for the topic remains strong. I am SO excited for SPRING to be here so I can get outside more and enjoy this wonderful world! Today, the kids and I are going to head out for a little neighborhood clean up to honor our Earth - its the least we can do in exchange for all it provides us.

Have a Happy Earth Day all! Do something to make a difference today and enjoy!

Opening A Window

I started off the new year in a slump. So bad that I wrote an uber depressing blog post that I have since deleted as some things are just better left undocumented. I am ready to get my spunk back and would rather shine the light on that. Life is so much more fun while focusing on the positive!

On my way home today I was listening to The Current and Mary Lucia was talking about how she sleeps with the window open even when the temps are below zero. "But don't you freeze?" she was asked. No, she responded, because the colder it gets the closer her pets snuggle up to her. I love the picture in my mind of her smooshed between her dog and cats creating their own little world of warmth within the frigid space. A perfect metaphor for my life right now. Even though I've been feeling a chill from certain areas of my life, I am leaving the window open because the people who really matter are keeping me warm with their loving spirits.

Thanks to those who love me no matter what.

With that perspective, I am looking forward to an awesome 2011. No expectations for anything particular this year. Just an openness to feeling cozy in the right now.

Christmas With Grandma

We started a new tradition on Christmas this year. Well, actually, we introduced our children to an old tradition that was started by my Grandma B. back when I was a child.

Christmas in my heart will always be back at my Grandparents’. My dad was one of seven siblings, so it was a very full house with our numbers growing each year as more and more grandchildren and then great grandchildren were added to the clan. But no matter how crowded, there was always room for all – including space for anyone who didn’t have a place to go for Christmas. Everyone was welcomed as family.

I fondly remember my Grandma's expansive dinner buffet that spread across two rooms and several tables. We had to use the big lunchroom-style plates with several compartments to hold all the food, but still the styrofoam started bending with the weight of it all about halfway through the line. Among the many delicious dishes, my grandma’s famous cheesy yellow beans were always there, as were every kind of cookie and jello salad imaginable. It was a child’s dream dinner!

At the end of the table my grandma had a cup set out for each and every person on which she wrote our names in her messy hand. Deciphering which cup belonged to who was always part of the fun. But the best part was filling those cups with the sweet red drink from her beautiful punch bowl. It was the kind of punch made with Hawaiian Punch, Sprite and sherbet, with a ring of frozen fruit floating in the middle. When one ring would melt away it was quickly replaced with another that my Grandma had all ready to go in the freezer.

Oh the punch! That was not the tradition we carried over this year, but I am thinking that it needs to start next year. Every child should have punch at Christmas! And lucky me – I have my grandma’s punch bowl to serve it in. It was given to me when my Grandma’s house was sold three years ago when she could no longer live alone. When the Alzheimer’s finally got too bad. But I won’t let that nasty disease interfere with my memories of Christmas at Grandma’s...

The special tradition that we passed on to our children this year was what happened after Christmas dinner at my Grandma’s. After we had filled every room of the house for a sit-down meal at folding tables covered with table cloths, of course all of us children were drawn to the mounds of gifts stacked as tall as the tree in the corner of the living room. But, no, we had to wait. We had to earn our presents. While the adults cleaned up the dishes, we were sent away to the basement to plan our annual Christmas show. The only rule was that everyone had to participate.

Some of us came prepared with Christmas songs practiced on our clarinet or violin, but most of us collaborated on the spot and made up funny dances or holiday skits to perform together. It is the memory of that time in the basement with my cousins that I cherish most of all. It’s the kind of time that family is all about. As the mother of seven, Grandma knew what she was doing!

When the last dish was done and the final table was folded and stored away, the kids were finally called up from the basement to show off our stuff using my Grandma’s special microphone. She always sat right up front and recorded every detail. Man, I wish I had the tapes of those shows. We earned a lot of applause and even a few happy tears every year. And, of course, our gifts.

So, this year after Christmas brunch at my parents’ house, my kids didn't get to go directly to the presents. We all moved into the living room to watch my oldest daughter play Jingle Bells on the piano while the younger two shook bells and danced. It was the perfect way for them to honor the memory of their Great Grandma, who succumbed to Alzheimer’s earlier this month at the age of 85. I’m glad she was free from the disease this Christmas so she could enjoy that special performance of Jingle Bells. It was just for her.

Street Food

Creamy sweet potato tacos topped with spicy black beans, steaming Indian-spiced mini donuts coated in sugar, and an icy glass bottle of Mexican Coca-Cola - lunch doesn't get better!

It was the summer of street food in downtown Minneapolis. Gourmet meals and treats cooked on propane and served out of a truck. How very big city for us!

I was first introduced to Chef Shack by my hipster friend Jenn. I was skeptical to say the least (think hot dog stand), but I trust Jenn so I trekked over to 5th and Hennepin with her and ordered my first street food. We brought it back to our desks that day so I had to email her to comment on how freaking awesome it was. The message was something to the affect of "OMG - I'm licking my fingers! Can we go back tomorrow?!"

No question I was immediately hooked. I loved the chance to escape outside over lunch, plus my usual stops just don't match up to the unique and delicious offerings of the trucks. And with the menu changing daily, there was always something new to feed my addiction.

Topping my list are Dandelion Kitchen's grilled cheese with slaw, World Street Kitchen's spicy yum yum rice bowl, and, of course, the previously mentioned sweet potato tacos and mini donuts from Chef Shack.

Oh how sad I am that Chef Shack's tweets have changed from what they are serving down the street to where they are dining in NYC (jealous!). They all closed for the season last week, aside from Dandelion Kitchen, which is sticking it out into November "weather permitting." Glad I still have the chance to try their much acclaimed pumpkin soup!

Then I guess its back to the skyways for me. But I am keeping my WSK sticker on my bulletin board as a reminder that winter in only a temporary inconvenience and there will be more yum yum to come...

Learning The Art of Being A Working Mom (A.K.A. Bring On The Reinforcements)

April 1, 2010, marked the first day that our family of five had two parents who work full time outside the house. Before that point we had managed to maintain the flexibility of either me or my husband working part time and/or from home. It was grand.

When my husband started his new job after many months of unemployment it was such a blessing that the issues of scheduling and time management hardly crossed our minds - for the first couple months we were floating on joy and relief. Then summer came and we enjoyed the ease of our in-home summer nanny.

So, it really wasn't until the start of school last month when reality sank in. There are simply not enough hours in the day (and I mean this literally) to work, commute, participate in the kids activities, do homework, shop, cook, clean, do laundry, see friends, continue our hobbies, maintain our property, sleep, and - most importantly - have fun as a family. My head is spinning and my heart is yearning for a simpler life.

How do we keep this up without becoming lifeless cogs in the 9-5 machine? The joy of my family is really important to me.

I here declare that I refuse to let the insanity consume me.

So what am I going to do? I am calling in the professionals.

Yep, I am finally giving in and paying people to help me balance my life. I have never liked paying for services that I can do myself, but hell, I'm at the point that I barely can!

First up, I signed up for grocery delivery service and it is spectacular. Why did I wait until now?

Next, I am meeting with LifeShine coach Michelle Stimpson tomorrow to define one thing I can start doing differently right now to help create more balance in my life. I am very excited about this opportunity for guided motivation!

Then, on Tuesday I have the professionals from In The Pink cleaning service coming for a cleaning AND organization consultation! I am seriously going to let these people into my closets and all and help me create the organized systems that a busy family like ours needs. Yay! Plus they are going to clean the place top to bottom once a month. (Yes, there is a huge smile on my face as I write that!)

When I told my friend Jenn about all this she said "Someone's got a fire lit under her!" Yeah, I know, a lot at once. But would you really expect anything less of me?

I am all about breakdown prevention!

Now I just need to find someone I can pay to do the laundry...

Light Please Overcome The Shadows

Beautiful Lindsay, my sister's beloved buddy - her soul mate that I never have been. Today we celebrated your life and grieved that this world was only granted the grace of your soul for 28 short years. Although I never knew you well, you have been an always present part of my life - my sister's other sister.

Today the room was adorned with 1,000 cranes - it was gorgeous, a reflection of you - a Chinese symbol of peace. It took many friends a full week to fold the origami birds in your honor. I think back on the 1,000 cranes you folded for my sister's wedding all on your own. The countless hours you must have spent folding the tiny papers in sheer love and dedication to your friend. Such a gift for her. You were such a gift for her.

Now, I will do what I can to fill that void.

Death always casts such a dark shadow, but the illness you suffered leading to this point makes it seem all the more unjust. Lymes Disease. How a tiny tick could lead to such suffering is so hard to understand. It is so misunderstood. More must be done to prevent this pain from others.

I mourn for your parents. The loss they have suffered is more than I can imagine. I was so proud of your Mom today. She is so proud to be your mom. You and Jennie lived too short of lives, but the impression you made in the world while you were here was very clear today.

I believe there is light beyond the shadows and the two of you are basking in it within each other's arms right now. May your souls live on in peace.

For Suz, please lean on me. I will be here for you, I promise.

Releasing

It felt good to close the month of September. It is always a month of such tremendous transition for everyone as we move into fall and release our children to their professional educators for another year of school. New routines, new people, and new excitement - and lot of new stress as we adjust to it all.

To make room for the changes, I've been focusing on physically and mentally clearing the clutter.

Remember how I was trying to reduce the contents of my house by 25 percent last winter? Well, I did pretty good. All of this went out the door at the garage sale in May...

(No, I'm not a creepy hoarder, that is a picture of my garage the night before the garage sale.)

But we never made it to our bedroom while we were doing the clean out, and really that should be the most clutter free area of the house. So, I've spent a chunk of the past few weekends sorting through clothes and memorabilia and making some small decor improvements to transform our bedroom into the relaxing sanctuary it should be. It's getting close!

I also made a point to create time for some family fun and mental refreshment, a much-needed exercise during a particularly trying period at work. We spent Labor Day weekend with friends at the lake where we had a blast with the kids (wow that feels like more than a month ago!). Then mid-month my husband and I took a long weekend in Massachusetts for a belated 10-year anniversary celebration. It was oh so nice to relax together and just, well, play. One of the highlights of our trip was the Life is Good festival, which was a joy-inspiring event. I love this picture...

And here we are back in the spot we were engaged 11 years ago in Marblehead.

While vacationing, I had the opportunity to evaluate everything filling my mind so I could release anything unnecessary (believe me, I tend to carry a lot of extra stuff in there). One of the things I decided to let go is my Family Goes Green blog. I have not maintained it and I am obsessive enough to allow a stagnant blog to be a source of stress. Its not that I don't still have passion for the topic, its that we are simply living the experience and I guess I just don't have a lot to say about it - as I'm sure you can feel if you've read it, my writing has felt forced and uninspired. I figure if I'm not benefiting from it and nobody else is benefiting from it, why keep it?! So farewell to my well-intentioned blog. I will keep your spirit alive on these pages.

Here's to a wonderful school year in which we can all find room for the joy amidst our busy routines.

Nature is So Cool

Sometimes Mother Nature just grabs me by the arm and reminds me to slow down. Relax. Enjoy.

A Beauty-Full Day To Be Jen!

Thanks to Liv at Choosing Beauty for the love today in your sweet post, Choosing To Give It Up For Jen!

Choosing Beauty is an inspiring celebration every day. I recommend that everyone takes a daily break for a little dose of beauty from Liv!

Billboards, Bikers & Adult Entertainment: Memories From The Road

We just returned from a family vacation to South Dakota. "The Great American Road Trip" they call it and it definitely is - we counted license plates from 38 states in the Mount Rushmore parking lot alone!

We had so many great experiences on this trip (and a few moments I'd like to forget), but it is funny how looking back on a meticulously planned trip, some of the things that brought us the most enjoyment were things that never would have occurred to me in advance - and if I would have thought of them they would have been on the list to surely avoid.


On our first day of travel we made it six hours down I-90 into Chamberlain, SD. Soon after crossing the border my husband and I dubbed the state “the land of 10,000 billboards.” At first it was a term of annoyance. How unfortunate the beautiful scenery is mucked up with so many signs. But after a few hundred miles we realized that farmland gets fairly boring to look at after a while and, well, the billboards are actually kind of brilliant. We used them to play the alphabet game, we counted the Wall Drug signs, and we guessed the age of the signs (some clearly not replaced since my first trip to SD as a child). We got ideas of places to go and we got really excited each time we saw a sign about one of the attractions on our agenda. The billboards definitely became our friends and we missed them on the way home.

When not looking at the billboards, we were usually watching the bikers. Little did we know that we had planned our vacation to intersect with the annual Sturgis rally. Our first realization of this fact was a bit concerning. Would it mean huge crowds? Lots of noise? Slow traffic? Would our son grow up to be a biker inspired by this very trip?! I can’t comment on the last question yet, but if it happens to be the case I am no longer concerned after spending a week in the presence of so many pleasant Harley folk. The kids loved watching the hundreds of bikers and my husband and I enjoyed guessing what types of corporate jobs they were escaping from for their week in Sturgis. And they were the first people to smile and offer to take a family picture. In all honestly, if we wouldn’t have had the kids with us, we would have probably ended up in Sturgis by the end of the week the culture looked so fun!

And then there was the adult entertainment (not related to Sturgis, I will note). We had some good laughs over the most inappropriate things. After hours of seeing signs promoting the “adult superstore” Sugar Shack, it turned out to be across the parking lot from our hotel in Chamberlain. Classic. And then when we finally made it to our hotel in Rapid City, our three year old ordered a porn flick while we were carrying in the luggage. Luckily his sister knew enough to turn it off a couple minutes into it (who knows what they saw!) and to tell us so we could promptly activate the parental controls on the TV. Fortunately the hotel was nice enough to credit the $16.95 back to our room. That incident was too funny coupled our discovery that our Rapid City hotel hosted adult-only bikini parties at the pool after hours. And we thought by staying at a water park we were guaranteed a nice family setting – ha!

And so, between the national parks and monuments, we had a lot of great moments that we never could have planned – the things that are often forgotten, but I don’t want to – this is what it’s all about! Oh, and this...

My Cocktail Garden

For my 35th birthday last year my friend Laura gave me one of the coolest gifts ever - a cocktail garden. The beautiful pot was bursting with mint, basil and lemongrass with colorful swizzle sticks stuck among the plants. The gift also included a small hand-made book of cocktail recipes, each calling for one of the herbs. What a fun and thoughtful gift! I really wish I had taken a picture.

I guess more important than a picture is that I really enjoyed the gift long after my birthday. It inspired me to use my herb garden in ways I hadn't thought of. This year I planted more of the herbs she gave me and I have been using them more than ever before. Especially the mint. This has been the summer of the mojito and my house! Even the kids are loving them (virgin, of course). Every time I have one I think of Laura and her awesome gift.

Thank you, dear, for sharing your creativity and generosity with me. Cheers to you!

Learning in The Garden

Transferred from my "green" blog upon its closure - one of two posts I saved because it is filled with special memories : )

This summer we made our first serious attempt at vegetable gardening - well actually there is nothing serious about it - it is all fun!

We started in May when we had the privilege of hosting our daughter’s Brownie troop at our house. We got to pick the activities for the meeting, so we decided on a healthy garden theme. The girls painted terracotta pots and planted sunflower, basil, bean and tomato seeds in peat pots.

We talked about how to care for the seedlings and asked the girls to report back on the progress of the plants. We ended the meeting with a snack of locally grown fruits and vegetables and we discussed nutrition – it was really fun to see the girls’ interest in the topic – and we loved that there was no disappointment shown over our healthy snack choice!


Sure enough the seedlings took off, so we decided they needed a home. We constructed a small raised bed where we planted the seedlings as well as some strawberry plants, tomato plants, and bean and carrot seeds. We have let the kids manage most of the garden care, which has been an awesome and rewarding learning experience for all of us.

And now we are on to the harvest! There is something fresh and ready for us every day - we check on our veggies first thing when we get home. We are already planning for a major garden expansion next year. We still have a lot to learn - like better spacing our plants and mulching around them - but we have found that we definitely belong in the garden.

Nurturing My Middle's Heart

Yesterday I ordered a book titled, Transforming the Difficult Child: The Nurtured Heart Approach.

It makes me feel bad to admit that because by choosing the title I am classifying my daughter as "difficult." It is also a bit embarrassing to confess that I need help parenting my own child. But I guess I have to let all that go and instead feel proud that I am taking steps towards transformation. And I like the sound of "the nurtured heart approach."

Funny that I am struggling with my daughter being that she reminds me so much of myself. We are both middle children. She is, like I was, extremely quiet at school and an angel when she is visiting a friend's house - but the true child comes out at home.

I was constantly pushing my siblings to the limit. I used to sit pleasantly at family dinners with an innocent smile on my face while under the table I was giving my brother intense snake bites on his arm.

Although I don't remember this particular moment, my younger sister gives accounts of when I babysat her and made her play jail, which included locking her in the back hall and only allowing her bread and water.

My mom even admits the story of one time when she was vacuuming the stairs and I came up behind her. Over her shoulder she asked, "what honey?" And I said, "no, it's me Jenny." I was so accustomed to being in trouble that I assumed she had mistaken me for my brother to call me honey. She was crushed when she realized my assumption and remembers this as a defining moment as a parent.

So now I wear her shoes.

Last night we went to see the movie Ramona and Beezus. I brought my girls with no expectations of adult enjoyment but ended up in tender tears. The dad character was inspiring to me in the way he handled the antics of the rambunctious middle child Ramona. It definitely appeared to be the nurtured heart approach.

I am looking forward to my Amazon package!

A Year of Living Lovely

Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes,
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Moments so dear.
Five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure, measure a year?

In daylights, in sunsets, in midnights
In cups of coffee
In inches, in miles, in laughter, in strife.

In five hundred twenty-five thousand
Six hundred minutes
How do you measure
A year in the life?

If you are a Rent fan, you are surely singing along by now...

Seasons of Love is one of my all-time favorite songs. It immediately came to mind when I realized that it’s been a year since I started my little blog. It is so interesting to look back and see how my most recent 525,600 minutes are reflected on these pages. It was a pretty eventful and emotional year.

I have to admit, I’ve never stuck with any blog or journal for this long, so it is really fun to have this collection of thoughts and memories in one place. It confirms for me the value of this writing, even if nobody reads it but me and even if I'm not terribly consistent about it. Here’s how my year was summed up in tags:

aluminum, be the change you want to see in the world, benign, bickering kids, black bears, blessings overload, Blue Zone, Bob Mould, BPA, budget, busy mom, BWCA, cancer, cardio challenge, cats, children, Children's Theatre Company, Christmas cookies, Click Clack Moo, Club2030, clutter, Committed, dating your spouse, depression, disposable utencils, Earth Day, eat local and organic, eat organic, economy, endorphins, environment, exercise, Family Goes Green, family time, family wellness, Fanfarlo, farmers market, fear, Feng Shui, financial stress, First Ave, fitness, Food Inc., Food Pyramid, friends, gardening, generations, grandma, grandparents, gratitude, happiness, health care war, healthy eating, holiday cards, holiday lights, household organization, intention, is plastic safe?, Jason Mraz, job loss, keeping up with the Joneses, kids dishes by Duralex, Klean Kanteen, layoffs, light therapy, Lily Allen, live lovely, love each day, lovely life, marriage with intention, Mason Jennings, meal planning, medicine of the mind, memories, Minnesota winter, money, Mother's Day, motherhood, music, my style of blogging, new job, nurturing those I love, nutrition, One Phone Call From Our Knees, One Small Change, optimism, Organized Audrey, pets reduce stress, Phipps Theater, photos, pictures, plants, play, positive energy, reuse, Rock the Cradle, roller coasters, rotating toys, Sarah's Key, save money, save the planet, seasons, soul food, speed of time, spring, Stages Theater Company, stay-home dad, stitching, surgery, tears, tempered glass dishes, Ten Thousand Villiages, Thankgiving, The Book Thief, The Current, The Dead, The Secret Garden, the tumor, The Year of Magical Thinking, therapy, tight budget, Twin Cities arts scene, U2, unemployment, video games, waiting, Walker Art Center Free First Saturdays, water conservation, working mom, writing as an art

I’m doing my best to measure in love.

Where you tend a rose, my lad, a thistle cannot grow

I just finished a re-read of the classic The Secret Garden by Frances Hodgson Burnett. Always a pleasant summer read of restoration, love, and the sheer beauty of nature.

The final chapter includes my favorite line "Where you tend a rose, my lad, a thistle cannot grow." There is no better metaphor for relationships and parenting. A good reminder to slow down and nurture those I love - and the garden is the perfect setting.

This year I am simply letting my perennials enjoy the sun and rain while I focus my attention on establishing a new produce garden with the kids and tending to my herb pots, as well as a few other garden expansion projects we're attempting. A few happy shots from our summer home...