The Challenge

It seems to all be piling up lately. My husband lost his job, some of my friends seem a bit too distant, and my kids are going back to school (my second off to kindergarten – I can’t believe it!). I think the hardest thing, really, is that I feel too busy to really sit back and properly assess any of this.

Somehow, in the midst of it all, I am supposed to just keep chugging away busy as ever at work, kids’ activities, responsibilities and all. How am I supposed to manage the situations – or my emotions, for that matter – when I feel like I hardly have time to acknowledge them? Instead, for the moment, I am wallowing. I am feeling sorry for myself. I hate this. I feel like I’m not me.

I sent an email to my dear friend this morning and asked her if the way I am feeling is normal. She assured me it was. But, of course, she’s my friend, so I trust her on every topic except for honest assessments of myself. But then she sent me a link to one of her friend’s blogs and I was comforted (yet saddened) by reading Tears, by Jennifer Griffin-Wiesner. Thank you for sharing, Jennifer. I guess we’re both normal! And we are not alone.

Still, how do I break out of this? How do I slow down enough to evaluate and repair? I know that time alone won’t heal me – that I’ve learned the hard way.

Maybe it is far more than a coincidence that today is the first day in the Cardio Challenge that I have agreed to tackle with friends. We are competing against each other to exceed weekly mileage goals running, rowing and biking. I have been slacking on exercise lately, but I couldn’t resist my friend’s enthusiasm in developing this friendly competition. And I can’t think of a better time to jump back into gear. I know that the endorphins won’t hurt a bit, but better yet, I look forward to using my exercise time as an opportunity to think through these things happening in my life and plan for the next steps ahead.

I am optimistic that it will all be clearer with my running shoes on. And I’m pretty sure that I will find me again somewhere along the road.