My surgery is scheduled for March 10. Five weeks after the ultrasound where they discovered the orange-sized complex tumor on my ovary. If the tumor doesn't kill me, I'm afraid the waiting might.
People keep telling me I should be happy the doctors aren't rushing it - it means they aren't worried. I see the point, and many recent signs have been positive, but still - we don't know what this is until we get it out.
Others tell me just to put my trust in the doctors and God. But it's hard to trust the doctors when the first one who felt this growth thought it was a fibroid in my uterus and wanted to feel it again next year. The ultrasound was by my demand. And God, well, last time I checked he wasn't offering up any cure for cancer.
I hate to complain, but this waiting room is a cold, dark and lonely place. I'm trying to pass the time with pleasant things like good music (check out Fanfarlo) and books (LOVED The Book Thief), but the clock on the wall keeps distracting me with its loud, slow tick.
I sure hope my patience is rewarded with good news. In the end, I guess I can only hope that the waiting is the hardest part.
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Waiting with you. Hug.
ReplyDeleteKNOW-TRUST-BELIEVE that everything is okay and that you will have gained strength and new perspective from this journey, as super-sucky as it is! Easier said than done, I know..
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