One Phone Call From Our Knees

I recently heard Mat Kearney’s new song “Closer to Love” on the radio and I was struck by a line that I can’t stop thinking about:

“I guess we're all one phone call from our knees.”

Although the song overall really isn’t my taste, that line moved me.

A few years ago that line would have put me in panic mode. I could get cancer. My husband could die in a car crash. My children could never make it home from school.

I used to worry about these types of things a lot. A LOT. Like, I lost many nights of sleep. But, somehow – with age, I guess – I have been able to shift my mindset so I no longer waste my energy worrying much about things I can’t control.

Instead, I am aware that any of these things could happen and so I am trying to live every day to the fullest. It is a guiding principle in many choices for me.

For example, last year when we were planning our budget there was a chunk of money that we could either use for new flooring (which we desperately want) or a family vacation to sunny Florida. We went with the latter.

My exact thinking at the time was “I will never lie on my death bed and wish I would have had nicer floors, but this special time with my kids will stay with me forever.”

Good choice. A year after the trip, I still wouldn’t trade the memories for anything.

I guess I was primed to be thinking about this when I heard the Mat Kearney song because I recently read a book with a similar message. In “The Year of Magical Thinking,” Joan Didion tells the heart-breaking true story of the year she lost her husband to a heart attack while her daughter spent months in the ICU. Throughout the beautifully crafted memoir, Didion repeats one line:

“You sit down to dinner and life as you know it ends.”

When I first started reading the book I thought to myself, “Can you handle this one, Jen?” I am very aware of how close to the edge of sanity I was when I first became a mom and I used to worry for hours and days about things like my children landing in the ICU. And my own father is a heart attack survivor.

I decided to carry on with the reading and I’m so glad I did. Much to my surprise, the book did not cause me to worry. It only strengthened my feelings of optimism and gratitude, because even though some things in my life may not be perfect right now, all the truly important things are just fine.

I guess a little reminder once in a while is a very nice thing.

Life is good. I know that could change in an instant. So, for now, I’m going to soak up the sun.

Blessings Overload

The past week I have been struck by a condition I like to call Blessings Overload. I had so many wonderful things happening in my life that I could hardly keep up with them all.

In seven days time I sang karaoke at a dive bar, went to a fabulous concert, ate dinner out with two different groups of friends, participated in a parent-child event at church, met two different friends for coffee, attended a Girl Scouts theater event with my daughter, picked out pumpkins at the patch with the family, celebrated my nephew's birthday, and went to a family Halloween party at our friends' home. That's on top of all the normal stuff, like working 40 hours, chauffeuring kids to dance class and Sunday School, homework, housework, etc.

I am not complaining - not at all - but I am tired. And that's why I have been absent from the blog for an extended stretch. Even though there have been so many stories to tell...

Footsteps Worth Following

I’m thinking about my grandma today. Well, I think about her everyday, but today she is especially on my mind because after listening to the baseball game with her on Sunday night, I am missing her and wanting more…

My grandma Gen (my namesake) is 96 years old and she continues to be a shining example of how to live life well. She is fortunate to still have the good health that enables her to live in her own home – the place where she raised my mom and where she held my grandpa when he died 17 years ago.

In the last few years she has started to noticeably slow down (naturally), but yet we are always greeted with cookies on the kitchen table and the candy dishes are always stocked. Not that we need the sweets, but they exemplify her welcoming personality.

I love to watch my kids interact with her – separated by two generations, yet the connection is just as strong. There is no hesitancy in their hugs and kisses for great grandma. Why would there be? She is simply wonderful.

Over the years – since I’ve been old enough to recognize how truly special my grandma is – I’ve paid attention to how she lives her life to the fullest.

She has fun – I am smiling thinking of some of the fun times we’ve had together. Just a few years back grandma acted out “Dirty Dancing” in a game of charades in her dining room. I remember how hard she laughed when she realized that the curtains were open and the neighbors may have seen. And I’ll never forget when we went to see the movie Titanic and she loudly told me in the quiet of the theater that she would have done the same thing as Monica Lewinski if she had the chance! I really could go on and on about how fun my grandma is. When she skips a party she is always greatly missed.

She is active – My grandma still goes out to get her hair done every week and does her own grocery shopping. She plants flowers and keeps her house up. Of course she has some help now, but she doesn’t sit back – she is still involved in everything and wouldn’t have it any other way. Up until she stopped driving a couple years back, she drove the “old ladies” to church every Sunday (I think they were about 15 years younger than her).

She has strong relationships – My grandma has a lot of friends who visit and call – and it’s not just to check up on her. She has clearly invested considerable effort to her relationships over the years and there are so many of us who keep her in the front of our minds all the time. Sometimes I can’t reach her for hours because I get a busy signal every time I dial.

She eats well – It is all about balance. My grandma eats small amounts throughout the day. She likes sweets, but doesn’t have too many. She enjoys a strong drink now and then. She has always watched her weight and she doesn’t eat many processed foods. The bottom line is she takes care of herself.

She keeps her mind sharp – The newspaper is read cover-to-cover every day and she watches at least two news casts regularly. She asks me about if I’ve been to new restaurants and she is often the one catching me up on the latest happenings around town. She still votes in every election and she makes up her own mind about who she is choosing and why – and she’s not afraid to try to influence your opinion! She also tells wonderful stories from throughout her life. I am always amazed by the details she remembers – the names of people and places and the years when things happened. Her stories never grow old.

She is spiritual – My grandma has never been preachy, but she is solid in her beliefs and practices them. She finds peace in being guided by a higher power. She is very centered.

Cleary the way my grandma has chosen to live her life has had an impact on the quality of life she’s enjoyed. In the book “The Blue Zone: Lessons for Living Longer From People Who Have Lived the Longest,” author Dan Buettner shares similar stories as examples of lives well lived. It is an interesting walk through several different cultures and how they have practiced certain principles that have led to long healthy lives. Since publication in 2008, many people – even whole communities – have followed the lead as part of the Blue Zones Vitality Project. It is exciting to see this growing focus on healthy living.

When I read the book when it was first released, it immediately made me think of my grandma. How blessed I am to have grown up with her as my role model!

I love you, grandma.

As Seasons Change

We had our first notable snow fall of the season today. My initial reaction - which I heard echoed in murmurs of disgust by many others - was: "Where did summer go? How could it be gone so fast?"

That feeling of time slipping through my fingers seems to accelerate each year.

Much-anticipated events are now fond memories; times I thought I couldn't live through are now badges of courage and strength; and the faces in my daily life have changed and changed again - literally and figuratively.

Naturally, this feeling is most prominent when I look at my children. My babies who are no longer babies!

My son, my youngest child, is two and a half. I listen to him speaking in intelligent sentences and watch him keeping up with his older sisters and it hurts my heart a little. I want to keep his tiny hand enclosed in my palm in hopes that it won't grow larger if I just hold on tight.

The seasons keep changing, but fortunately the rapid pace has taught me a thing or two about perspective - about what and who are important. It's that time-tested wisdom that now keeps me from complaining too much about a snow fall. A beautiful one at that.

Saving Money By Saving The Planet

My family is very budget conscious right now, but fortunately many of the things we can do to save money are also good for the environment. All of these things are so easy to put into action and doubly beneficial!

Save energy
· Adjust your thermostat a few degrees.
· Install compact fluorescent light bulbs.
· Unplug appliances or use power strips when not using them.
· Turn off the lights when you leave the room.
· Turn down the heat or turn off the air conditioner when you’re not at home.
· Wash clothes in cold water.

Save water
· Use a reusable water bottle filled with filtered tap water.
· Water plants with rain water collected in containers in your garden.
· Take shorter showers.
· Skip watering the grass and washing the car.

Save paper
· Use both sides of every sheet of paper.
· Write lists and notes-to-self on the backs of envelopes or junk mail.
· Don’t print unless you have to.
· Read online instead of printed magazines and newspapers.
· Pay bills online.

Save gas
· Take the bus to work.
· Walk or take a bike for short distances.

Who knew living tight was such a great thing?! Even better, my kids are excited to help out because they care about saving the planet (it is a little harder to get them jazzed about saving money).

A Really Good, Very Bad Day

Yesterday I was having a bad day. I was way overly tired and a lot of things seemed to not be going my way. I was also feeling sad for a couple of my friends who are going through hard times. I cried a little and was just generally down.

But then...
My friend Laura invited me into her office and let me pour it all out.
My friend Jenn checked in on me twice.
My friend Wade made me laugh.
My friend Jill pretended I wasn’t acting crazy.
My kids snuggled with me on the couch.
My husband let me go to bed before the kids were even down.
My kitty joined me under the covers.

I went to sleep with a smile on my face feeling like one lucky girl. That I most definitely am.

Saved by the Super Kids

I love this photo of my kids in their Halloween costumes. I love that they worked together to coordinate costumes. I love that they planned their little pose themselves. I love how happy they look and how happy they make me.

This photo is the current home screen on my Blackberry, which is my constant sidekick. I can't tell you how many times I have glanced down at it during a busy day at work and smiled. Every time I look at this picture my Super Kids save me from whatever I may be stressing over.

Pictures are so great that way. Little memory keepers that have a way of bringing us back like nothing else.

I am not a scrapbooker and I don't have an organized system for my photos, but I still enjoy them fully. There are snap shots framed all over my home and office and I proudly share with my friends on facebook regularly.

Another of my favorite ways to use pictures is as bookmarks. Each time I open my book I get a chance to bring that special memory back. I usually select pictures as bookmarks that aren't quite right for framing, but they mean something special to me.

Once my Super Kids picture is replaced in the place of honor on my phone it may just make it to a frame. I think this one is a long-time keeper!