On The Gift Of Motherhood

As I lay in bed recovering from my recent surgery, I've had more than my share of time to ponder life. As always, my children have positioned themselves in the front of my mind. This whole situation has really made me think about how precious life is and how blessed I am to have these little people in my care.

My eldest daughter turned eight last week, which is just unbelievable to me. I thought by the time I had a child this age I would have figured out the whole motherhood thing. Not so. Sometimes I feel like I get so caught up in day-to-day life that I don't even notice that time is passing by until something stops us in our tracks.

Watching my daughter become her own person is a truly surreal experience. I can't keep up with how quickly she is learning and growing each day. Just before her birthday we found out that she is invited to do a reading in church at her first communion service - in front of a congregation of hundreds. What an amazing experience for my shy little girl. My little girl! I just can't believe it. I am trying not to make her nervous - I am so nervous for her!

She is such a part of me that sometimes I struggle to separate her experiences from my own. I guess I just need to accept that feeling, because I'm pretty sure it never ends. I saw it in my mom's eyes when she sat next to my hospital bed this week. At 35, I'm still her little girl.

All of these feelings about watching my kids become, well, themselves, are beautifully captured in one of my favorite songs. These lyrics never fail to touch me:

well your children will not be your children
they are the daughters, the sons of a beginning
they'll come through your womb but not be coming from you
they will be with you, but they do not belong to you
you can give them your love but not your thoughts
cause they'll arrive with their own hearts
they're the coming of angels this blessed season
and then they'll sing oh yea god rests in reason

- from God Rests in Reason by Jason Mraz

Hmmm... I have another full week in bed ahead of me. I'll either be a lot more clear or more crazy by next Sunday! At least I know that this one week will go slowly and will be filled with lots of hugs. What a gift!

I'm closing with a picture of three-generations of girls taken a couple years ago at my mom's 60th birthday party. Seems fitting with my thoughts tonight. Again, all I can say is what a gift!